when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And then the night went full on bisexual.