guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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