i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
