Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
