Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
