he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
