I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
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She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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