I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize