dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
