The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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