I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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