omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
