More tranny stories later!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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