they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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