You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
