Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
