you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
