Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
