people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Boobs speak an international language.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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