I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
