captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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