watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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