I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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