I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
