You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
