Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
