Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
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I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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