that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So many bounce houses so little time
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
