have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this just has baby written all over it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
