the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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