He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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