A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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