i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
