Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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