I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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