I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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