i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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