just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
