i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass