Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
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Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
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Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny