You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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