my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
