it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
