carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
