Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
