To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
