First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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