Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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