Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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