Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
