Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize