On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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