TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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