he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize