on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
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