Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
