Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
