U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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